Lessons in LIfe

I have learned a lot about myself over the past few months. One thing for sure is I’m not good at is keeping issues to myself.

I have learned the hard way how hard it is to get pregnant. I feel like a fool at times. How could I be so ignorant to think I could control my fertility. I got pregnant right away with Cole. So I never even contemplated it wouldn’t happen just as fast. But I sit here now after months and months and months of ttc and still no baby. And it stings.

It has been an emotional, stressful and sometimes painful journey. I have good days when I don’t think about it all and then there are the bad days. The days I cry. I feel overwhelmed with the unknown. It really is a roller coaster ride. I truly worry for the safety of the next person who asks me “So when are you going to have another one?! “ I DON”T KNOW BACK OFF DUDE! Each day it feels like I hear or read about another person becoming pregnant and I think why not me? When will Cole get to have a sibling? What is wrong with me? Yea full out pity party. I hate the bad days. This is when I need help looking at the bigger picture.

One lesson I have learned through this all is not taking being Cole’s mama for granted. Not for one second. I’m blessed to have him. Hell I’m beyond lucky to have him. I’m a better mom today for going through this, learning to be more present and living in the moments with him . I truly believe that.

I don’t know what the future holds but today I have a beautiful family of three and I’m grateful for that. Today is a good day.