Working Mom

A working mom...yep that's what I'm now. I have been dreading the day I would have to go back to work, I remember telling myself at week 4 no problem you will be ready to get back out in the world. Talk to people,speak in full sentences and feel like I'm contributing to our family. It was all a big fat lie...I was just trying to convince/talk myself into thinking it would be easy.

So this Monday was day one of me being a working mom, I did pretty well with the help of my parents sending me pictures of Cole throughout the day. I picked him up around 5pm and the little man was so worn out he fell asleep on me at 5:30 till 7:30.And that's when the tears started...I'm holding him and thinking ...I only saw him awake today for an hour and half! But I calmed down and held him enjoying my time with him even if he was asleep.

Then came day two, I dropped him off at our family friends and couldn't even make out the door before the tears started. I cried while I drove away...how do people do this?!? I feel like he is being torn away from me. I called Cam and just cried...it was good to get it all out but it didn't change anything. I had meeting all day and called only twice to make sure things were Ok. That night I picked him up around the same time and within 10mins of being home he feel asleep again. And then begin the tears again...I cried and cried. Cole must have sensed my sadness because out of complete surprise after just 40mins he woke up and smiled at me. I could tell he was tired but he just wanted to hang out and so we did. We sang songs, practiced are standing skills and exchanged about a million kisses. It was just enough time that it saved me from a complete breakdown.

Day three, thank god I have Wednesday's with him...hump day...is now officially my favorite day of the week! I get to work from home and hang out with Cole! And that is just what we did!

I'm so grateful for my wonderful husband,Cam truly has been so amazing this week. Letting me call and just cry to him,understanding that it's strictly Cole and Mommy time till bed time at 7:30pm and picking up the slack for everything else. I know it will get better and I will adjust... we all do...it's just so much harder then I ever thought it would be.

So I'm taking each day one day at a time, today there have been no tears... so far :)


Enjoying his walk yesterday...